Sasha Merci on How Comedy Has Helped Her Depression

For Psychological Well being Consciousness Month, we requested Latine comedians and creators we admire how comedy has supported them in overcoming trauma and confronting life’s most vital challenges. Learn the items right here.

One of many issues I like about comedy is the way it fuses my character with my objective. I used to be identified with melancholy after I was 14 years outdated, a time after I started evaluating my life to that of my highschool friends and rapidly observed the variations. On the time, most of my friends had by no means skilled vital loss like I had. Whereas they had been preoccupied with garments, gossip, and popular culture, I used to be grappling with ideas of dying. This numbness to bizarre considerations led me right into a deep existential disaster.

My battle with melancholy was triggered early on by the lack of a number of relations, together with my mom and my grandmother. Processing these losses took years of remedy. Working as a comic has allowed me to piece collectively recollections like a puzzle to understand my life’s larger image. Each time I unravel the layers of my experiences, I uncover the humor embedded inside them.

As a younger woman, I did not know that my organic mom had handed away; I used to be instructed to name my grandmother Mama. Though there was {a photograph} of one other lady on the mantle who resembled me, my grandmother would deflect the query at any time when I inquired about her. She was a grasp at making me really feel valued and particular and was at all times able to hearken to me chatter, calling me her little Cotorra.

I am unsure if I had a pure humorousness, however my grandmother definitely noticed a giant character in me and nurtured it. I might gauge her reactions and laughter to regulate my storytelling. At any time when we had guests, she would immediate me with, “Sasha, ven acá, dile lo que me dijiste!” signaling it was showtime. I bear in mind lighting up the room for the primary time, mimicking characters and celebrities from tv, considering all of America was the glamorous Hollywood, in contrast to my birthplace within the Bronx, NY.

My grandmother handed away from colon most cancers shortly after we relocated from DR’s capital, Santo Domingo, to New York. It was round this time that I lastly discovered about my late organic mom. Transitioning from being a lightweight within the room to feeling just like the elephant within the room, I moved in with my father, his spouse, and their kids. I used to be starkly reminded that I used to be the product of an affair. In that family, I discovered to wield my humor for survival, to defuse tensions, and infrequently made myself the butt of jokes throughout one of the emotionally isolating intervals of my life.

In highschool, I struggled to slot in due to the quantity of loss I skilled at a younger age. I felt envious of not having a nuclear household. It was a continuing reminder to me of what I used to be lacking. At a younger age, I deeply felt my mortality, understanding that irrespective of how a lot I prayed, my family members would by no means come again. Not a lot of my friends on the time might relate to it. Consequently, I started to disassociate from my actuality and used humor as a technique to entertain others to distract myself from my ache. This solely labored till I noticed I used to be the one one not laughing. I began to search out my true comedic voice after discovering comedy on YouTube. It grew to become a coping mechanism and was a turning level for me. At 15, I immersed myself in all types of comedy — films, stand-ups, and sitcoms. Stand-up comedy, specifically, taught me that ache had a rightful place on the earth.

Now, I view my household dynamics as a sitcom, typical of many immigrant American households with robust hierarchies. We use humor as a type of microaggression, being not directly direct about contentious subjects like gender and politics. Our disagreements usually are not causes to disconnect however alternatives to interact with the chaos and discover the humor in all of it.

Comedy grew to become a therapeutic instrument after I began utilizing it to specific myself by means of hyperbole, sarcasm, and similes, constructing a group that helped me fight melancholy throughout robust occasions. Comedy permits for relatability. Feeling like somebody understands your origin can typically assist in therapeutic. In 2015, I used Instagram to share my tales and views whereas providing comedic aid to my followers. After being on the platform for a brief time period, my content material began to go viral and helped launch my profession as a comic and actress.

Comedy is a vital area for Latines, particularly immigrants and their descendants. It permits us to relate our tales, have a good time our twin identities, and confront the challenges of navigating two worlds. It displays our resilience, capability to search out pleasure amid adversity, and relentless pursuit of visibility and understanding in a society that always sidelines our voices.

Right now, I see the nice and unhealthy moments in life as materials, which evokes me to jot down down ideas and concepts. Managing my psychological well being entails a fragile steadiness of honoring my cultural and familial roots alongside my private aspirations. Defending your peace is significant, however not while you isolate your self in a bubble. Humor lives in my on a regular basis life; it’s discovered within the mundane, ache, and sudden. I encourage others to lean into it; it’d encourage your subsequent piece of fabric. A superb comic is disarming, relatable, and provocative, and I’m dedicated to being all these items.

Comedy has taught me to cherish my life and eschew comparisons, for comparability is the thief of pleasure, and it is laborious to really feel depressed when one lives in gratitude.