Eighteen years in the past, earlier than his debut on the 2005 compilation album “Sangre Nueva,” not many have been acquainted with Puerto Rican reggaetón artist Arcángel. Within the early days of his music profession, Arcángel would sing on mixtapes for his pals and for locals within the tough San Juan neighborhoods of Villa Palmeras and La Perla, the place he grew up. However today, he has thousands and thousands of listeners tuning in to his music, making him one of many largest stars of the style.

As Arcángel sits down for our digital interview, his standard sun shades are off. He seems straight on the webcam — not the display — as if having a face-to-face dialog.

There is a startling quantity of empathy in his eyes, which is each stunning and never when you think about his tumultuous early years, marked by hustling on the streets and discovering methods to get by. Folks are likely to affiliate that sort of life with cynical personalities, however there is a tremendous line between cynicism and empathy, and what breeds one can simply result in the opposite. You may’t have both with out ache as a catalyst. As he talks, his eyes additionally betray one other emotion swimming someplace in his gaze — a latent unhappiness.

Simply previous midnight on Nov. 21, 2021, a automotive accident in San Juan took the lifetime of Arcángel’s youthful brother, Justin Santos. Solely 21 years outdated on the time, he was driving a car that was struck by one other, pushed by a lady who prosecutors later alleged was beneath the affect. Within the time since, the case has been marred by setbacks and delays, with the driving force’s protection counsel efficiently suppressing the alcohol blood degree take a look at outcomes on varied grounds. The method has been slowly shifting its means up the judicial ladder, most lately into the arms of the Courtroom of Appeals. A current ruling reinstated the take a look at outcomes, paving the best way for the beginning of a trial this 12 months, greater than two years after the incident.

Since his brother’s tragic demise, Arcángel has been vocal about the way it has devastated his household and his personal life. Nonetheless, he obtained again to recording, releasing “SR. SANTOS” in 2022 and “Sentimiento, Elegancia y Más Maldad” in November of final 12 months. He is gone on worldwide excursions, persevering with to replenish stadiums in dozens of nations throughout Europe and North America. However behind the scenes, he is frank about how he is not the identical individual folks have identified him as.

“Generally, the higher issues are going for me, the sadder I really feel,” he says. “I see all these nice issues occurring and all I can assume is that if the child have been right here, he’d be so glad.”

Whereas he is nonetheless greater than adept at rapping, as he proved throughout his Christmastime beef with Anuel AA, Arcángel acknowledges that the spark he as soon as had has dimmed.

“The inventive course of is not the identical anymore and by no means can be once more. I used to say I had a present as a result of within the studio I might hearken to a beat and write [a song] like magic, out of skinny air. I did not want a pen or paper. A number of producers might inform you that,” he says. “I haven’t got it anymore. It deserted me.”

He has no illusions, both, about why he is been overcome by such inventive doldrums.

“After November [of 2021] all of it went to shit, and since then nothing has modified. I want a group now to assist me. I used to solely want a music engineer and an excellent beat, and I took care of the remaining,” he shares. “However I haven’t got that contact anymore; it left, and perhaps it will come again. However I hope it comes again quickly as a result of I haven’t got 20 extra years of profession left.”

Solely a 12 months handed between the accident and the discharge of “Sr. Santos” — a time throughout which Arcángel submitted himself to getting a full-torso tattoo of his brother’s visage in his reminiscence. The album was extra trap- and rap-oriented, exploring street-level themes. His most up-to-date mission, “Sentimiento, Elegancia y Más Maldad,” consists of extra uptempo tracks which are extra within the vein of his cheekier reggaetón roots.

When requested if this is because of an enchancment in his emotional state, he shoots down the notion.

“My thoughts is fucked up, perceive? However I’ve to work. My psychological well being isn’t in good condition,” he shares. “I by no means knew what it was to doubt myself. I used to be somebody whose vanity was at all times so excessive that individuals confused it with conceitedness. Now folks inform me I’ve modified a lot, and I inform them I have not modified. It is simply that my vanity isn’t the identical. I do know folks say I am extra humble now, nevertheless it’s as a result of I am extra insecure than earlier than.”

At this, the also-Latin entice artist takes a pregnant pause. “I’ve to be mentally unwell for folks to see me as humble,” he says incredulously. “I’d like to recuperate my psychological well being and vanity so I may be boastful in folks’s eyes once more.”

In previous interviews, outdated comrades like De La Ghetto would reminisce in regards to the outdated Arcángel and be impressed by how brash he was, irrespective of who he was speaking to.

“I do not like [being like that] anymore,” Arcángel says. “All the things I say, folks take it like . . . there’s at all times a misinterpretation of every little thing, a lot that now I want to not say something and keep quiet. Or I doubt what I’ll say, if it is proper or not, so I do not say something. And it bothers me as a result of I am not like that.”

This previous summer time, Arcángel’s social media was plagued by images of his tour stops, with dynamic photographs of soldout crowds in every single place from Spain and Italy to Baja California and Chicago. In some, you may spy followers holding up placards with Justin’s title, or messages of condolences and emotional assist. It is a real show of affection from his followers, and Arcángel acknowledges that, however he is additionally blunt in regards to the limits of others’ assist.

“How is an indication going to make me really feel higher? As a result of it has my brother’s title on it?” he asks candidly. “Bro, I do not need any extra presents which have something to do with my brother. I do not need any extra jackets, any extra shirts, any extra hats, any extra keychains. They do not change something. What am I gonna do, open a museum? What I would really like is to have him subsequent to me.”

Regardless of this internal anguish, he nonetheless sees a faint silver lining. “I really feel I am good at adapting and I’ve discovered to really feel snug in uncomfortable circumstances. And that is what’s occurring now,” he says. “You are seeing an Arcángel who’s snug in a really uncomfortable state of affairs. That is what time has taught me.”

He will not share whether or not he is sought out remedy or different types of mindfulness to work by his emotions, however he does level to 2 manners wherein he distracts himself.

“I work. I make music. I am going to go to the studio,” he says, including: “I’ve a really large home, and typically I am going to simply stroll round for a very long time. A lot in order that at 8 or 9 p.m., my ft damage, and I ask myself why and it is due to all of the strolling I have been doing. I have been strolling all day and did not even discover. I stroll a ton, quick, and I begin pondering a lot that my mind will get drained and that helps after I get a type of intrusive ideas that fuck me up. I haven’t got area for these.”

As an alternative, he provides that area over to planning for the longer term, and that features his inevitable retirement. He is aware of there’ll come some extent the place he will not have the ability to rap about what he often does in a means that feels earnest, and he intends to exit on high earlier than that occurs. However regardless of every little thing, does he nonetheless really feel optimistic in regards to the future? “Sure,” he says earlier than pausing. “However it’s due to [the team] I’ve round me. As a result of I belief I can go the baton to them and so they’re gonna know what to do. All I wish to do is win. And now I am studying to be a group participant. The panorama has modified, and I am not thinking about being simply the solo captain. I wish to contribute to a group and do my function.”

One function he is eyeing: being a producer of recent abilities. His largest one proper now’s Chris Lebrón, a younger Dominican artist whom he is taken beneath his wing. When he envisions a second profession in his put up years, he is stuffed with goals of listening to his title however beneath a brand new context.

As he places it: “If and when one of many artists I developed wins a Grammy, and so they thank me of their speech, that is gonna really feel fucking nice. Greater than even me profitable one myself.”

There is not any doubt that Arcángel would commerce absolutely anything to have his little brother again, and never a soul would blame him. However the mightiest of hearts cannot change actuality. All one can do is change for the higher, relying on no matter life throws at you.

“I do not just like the Austin I was. I far more just like the one I’m now. I really like the one I’m now. I respect the individual I’m now greater than who I used to be 10 years in the past,” he says. “I have been by quite a bit.”

For Arcángel, that is solace and peace: this new self, his work, his household, the reminiscence of his brother, and his goals for the longer term. It is all he has, and for him, it is greater than sufficient.